I’ve finally figured out why George W. Bush acts the way he does as President. He screened AIR FORCE ONE after 9/11 and he wanted to be President James Marshall.
Harrison Ford plays President James Marshall as a superhero, kicking ass and taking names, when a bunch of disgruntled Russians take over Air Force One. There’s a lot of factual and plot errors throughout this flick, but do yourself a favor, get some popcorn and enjoy the ride. It’s one of those good old fashioned action flicks with nothing more in mind than to entertain. I mean, good God, it’s Harrison Ford! And he plays a President that not only speaks Russian, but is a Congressional Medal of Honor winner!! And he’s flying a plane!!! Of course Dubya wanted to be like him.
At the beginning of the flick, Marshall (and how’s that for a solid, robust Presidential name?) says that the US will never negotiate with terrorists. EVER! Well, there you go. The thing is that the President’s staff were completely unaware of this new policy and they didn’t like it. As Marshall says, though, it’s his decision and they need to get behind it. The movie then unfolds where the President has to put his money where his mouth is.
I’m not going to pick at the movie, ’cause once you start with unraveling that first thread the entire movie ends up falling apart. Instead we’ll just go over the basics: Harrison Ford kicks Gary Oldman’s ass, and kills all the other terrorists onboard; sometimes in unarmed combat, and other times ’cause he’s a crackjack shot with a weapon that never runs out of rounds. Good stuff.
But it wasn’t until I saw the movie again recently that I also saw the similarities between Bush and Marshall. They’ve both got that same smirk, though Ford manages to still look intelligent and slightly sheepish when he does it. Bush just looks like he saw your sister in her underwear, and he’s thinking about charging others for the same show. Marshall instituted a policy that was not popular, but he stuck to his guns (literally). Bush instituted a war that was not popular and he stuck to his guns, only he’s not such a good shot. Marshall was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam and won the highest medal that can be awarded. Bush pretended he was a pilot, and was pretty good at drinking games where he won the coveted Most Likely to Shave Off the Eyebrows of the First Person to Pass Out Award. Marshall went on a one-man wrecking crew, killing terrorists, saving his staff members, flying the plane, and everything else except serving drinks and snacks during the inflight entertainment. Bush WANTS to be that guy.
I don’t blame Bush, I guess. Hell, when the movie’s over you know Marshall is going to be President for life, and I can see how Bush thought things were going his way when Afghanistan rolled over about two months after Bush told the Taliban to kiss his ass and get the fuck out. People got behind him after his “the whole world is going to hear us” speech amidst the rubble of 9/11, the nations of the world got behind him, the Taliban fled into caves, the guy was on a fucking roll. He WAS President James Marshall.
But he forgot he wasn’t in a movie, and that he WASN’T President James Marshall, Medal of Honor winner, crackerjack shot, fantastic pugilist, and all ’round great guy. Bush is just a slightly retarded good ol’ boy who would probably be fun to be around when fishing, but you don’t want the guy to steer the boat, let alone be in charge.
Reality bites Bush in the ass. The movie doesn’t need reality. Reality would’ve interfered with the flick not ten minutes into it, and President Marshall probably would’ve died. But Bush believed that what he saw in the movie could be duplicated in real life. Unfortunately, it cannot.
So I blame the following for our failed policies in Iraq, and the crumpling up of the Constitution: Wolfgang Peterson (director), Andrew Marlowe (writer), and, most of all, I blame Harrison Ford, for making Marshall such a nice, average, everyday guy who just happened to be President, making it believable enough for some retard with delusions to think he could do the same thing.
(Why couldn’t Bush emulate Charles Bronson in DEATH WISH? He would’ve lasted about ten seconds on the streets of NY, and we wouldn’t be in the shit we’re in today.)
Tags: air force one, bush, george bush, harrison ford, wolfgang peterson
